This is beautiful, Stephanie. As a nonbinary person who is still called ma'am every day, I have complex feelings about gender (obvs). As someone who has never felt at home in my body as a woman, I envy your hyper femininity— and I think my reasons for rejecting my classification as a woman are deeply complex and will never be fully explored because, just like you cannot fully express what it is to be a woman, or what that means, I think gender itself is so deeply complex. Where do we end and where does our gender construction begin? How much of who we are is a rejection or acceptance of the status-quo, and how is rejection and acceptance compatible? Is it? Because it must be. We all hold both inside of us. As a nonbinary person I'll easily admit that it's women who I gravitate towards and feel the most kinship with. It's not because of our shared anatomy but because we both share the experience of marginalization. I have felt what it is to be a woman (and still feel it as I move through the world), yet I find myself, in my nonbinary identity, feeling less attached to being anybody for anyone. Or, who knows, maybe it's just me, and not my liminal identity.
I know this: for as busy as your schedule is and how much your life as a mother and wife pulls you away, every single time you write a newsletter, it's so powerful and so YOU. I love that you stand strong in your femininity, in your role as woman, while still feeling conflict about gender and gender roles. Because loving being a woman and hating the rigidity of assigned gender roles are not mutually exclusive. I love that you embrace women and have become a woman that inspires other women. And I loved reading this, just as I love reading all of your writing.
I'm child-free by choice and still this post hit so hard — the role of women, the complication of religion. Your writing is brilliant and I am HERE for it. Excited to begin following.
"Ok God, BFFR. Let’s review the optics. Your follower count is dropping like flies, the Pope even muted you on social media. Who did you hire to write this book (The Bible)? There was clearly a lack of inclusion when The Bible made its final rounds of edits. It’s obvious there wasn’t a single woman in that editing room. It’s 2023 and I’m a mom now. Where’s your perspective?" STEPHANIE!!!!
This is beautiful, Stephanie. As a nonbinary person who is still called ma'am every day, I have complex feelings about gender (obvs). As someone who has never felt at home in my body as a woman, I envy your hyper femininity— and I think my reasons for rejecting my classification as a woman are deeply complex and will never be fully explored because, just like you cannot fully express what it is to be a woman, or what that means, I think gender itself is so deeply complex. Where do we end and where does our gender construction begin? How much of who we are is a rejection or acceptance of the status-quo, and how is rejection and acceptance compatible? Is it? Because it must be. We all hold both inside of us. As a nonbinary person I'll easily admit that it's women who I gravitate towards and feel the most kinship with. It's not because of our shared anatomy but because we both share the experience of marginalization. I have felt what it is to be a woman (and still feel it as I move through the world), yet I find myself, in my nonbinary identity, feeling less attached to being anybody for anyone. Or, who knows, maybe it's just me, and not my liminal identity.
I know this: for as busy as your schedule is and how much your life as a mother and wife pulls you away, every single time you write a newsletter, it's so powerful and so YOU. I love that you stand strong in your femininity, in your role as woman, while still feeling conflict about gender and gender roles. Because loving being a woman and hating the rigidity of assigned gender roles are not mutually exclusive. I love that you embrace women and have become a woman that inspires other women. And I loved reading this, just as I love reading all of your writing.
Damn. I love this. The tension of the named gender rage. You got this beautiful mama. All of you! xx, K
“There is no reason to embody holiness when you can just embody yourself.” Stephanie!! Your writing is such a gift!
I'm child-free by choice and still this post hit so hard — the role of women, the complication of religion. Your writing is brilliant and I am HERE for it. Excited to begin following.
"Ok God, BFFR. Let’s review the optics. Your follower count is dropping like flies, the Pope even muted you on social media. Who did you hire to write this book (The Bible)? There was clearly a lack of inclusion when The Bible made its final rounds of edits. It’s obvious there wasn’t a single woman in that editing room. It’s 2023 and I’m a mom now. Where’s your perspective?" STEPHANIE!!!!
You’re writing is something else.. magnificent!
“Only other women can save me.” Amen.