"I forgive you. I’m trying really hard to forgive you. When you’re done with me I'll still forgive you. You live in my every movement. I wouldn’t change a thing. Are these hands mine? Or my mothers? I want to be beautiful and androgynous but my mother’s hands weigh me down."
This is so beautiful and vulnerable. Thank you for this piece.
I feel this: "I don’t like myself as a mother. Well, said differently, I don’t like how much it’s stirred up in me. I am awakened by all of my complexities. My memories are a mind game to have to sift through. I feel I'm not good enough. I feel sweaty from the spotlight overhead. I want to escape. I am tired of everyones notes regarding my performance. I am unbearably complicated. I want to go to bed."
What a queasy ride we're on indeed. Really well said. Your voice is all yours!
I was going to quote a favorite line, something that really spoke to me, but I realized there are too many
"Could a man feel the same anger a woman feels? "
"My core is not as weak as I thought. My core used to house my children and now it houses my anger."
THIS. Been thinking a lot about how to channel my rage. Did you read this article in The Cut? https://www.thecut.com/2023/05/moms-gone-wild.html
"I forgive you. I’m trying really hard to forgive you. When you’re done with me I'll still forgive you. You live in my every movement. I wouldn’t change a thing. Are these hands mine? Or my mothers? I want to be beautiful and androgynous but my mother’s hands weigh me down."
This is so beautiful and vulnerable. Thank you for this piece.
I feel this: "I don’t like myself as a mother. Well, said differently, I don’t like how much it’s stirred up in me. I am awakened by all of my complexities. My memories are a mind game to have to sift through. I feel I'm not good enough. I feel sweaty from the spotlight overhead. I want to escape. I am tired of everyones notes regarding my performance. I am unbearably complicated. I want to go to bed."
What a queasy ride we're on indeed. Really well said. Your voice is all yours!